The Lord Is Testing Me

23 Oct

Remember the other day when I was talking about how I had all those relevations? And how truly blessed I was? Well I am convinced that because I wrote about it I have now lost it all. 

1. There is no such thing as the “perfect time” or the “perfect moment”.

So why wait and beat around the bush? Perfect timing isn’t real, but perfect things, perfect situations, the perfect person for you, are. They are so very real, so when you get one, you hold onto it. And you don’t let it go.

2. I need to start taking my own advice. 

Naturally, all of my friends have been flocking to me today making sure I was alright and checking in on me. A few weeks ago, I had a friend struggling with some personal problems of his own, and I told him just to take it easy and hold on, and it would all work out the way it was supposed to. Soooo guess who got that advice thrown back at them? Me. Guess who is too stubborn to just take it and listen? Also kinda-sorta me. This isn’t something I can just relax with. This is such a huge part of my life that just taking it easy and praying for the best wont suffice for me. But at the same time, I wonder how useful fighting for what I want is. At least I can’t say I didnt try my best. 

3. Hope for the best, expect the worst.

I guess with everything that has been going on, I have tried so hard to be optimistic about it, that it has screwed me over. I expected my optimism to work in my favor, and so far it hasn’t been any help. I think my optimism led me to the assumption that I would hope for the best and expect the best. So then when life handed me the worst, I took it even harder. Life isnt easy, nothing I’m dealing with is easy. It completely sucks, and has left me completely numb and empty inside. But, I just have to sit tight, hope for the best and expect the worst. 

At this point I feel completely lost. I have no idea what is going on in my life, mostly because all of these events that are effecting me are so unexpected. So please, just bear with my depressing blog posts and pray I make it through all of this.

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