Archive | April, 2013

One Year Down

30 Apr

I’m writing this as a tool for procrastination/study break as my finals week begins. I cannot believe my first year of college is done. Time really does fly. It seems like just the other day I was loading up my parents car with my excessive amounts of clothes and Keurig, and now I’m packing up my car with the same excessive amounts of clothes and Keurig to move into a storage unit for my apartment that I will be moving into mid-June. It’s kind of surreal, seeing my dorm room empty as quickly as it filled, realizing I’ll be away from these people I’ve formed friendships with for a whole summer, that I’ll be making the 16 hour trek home alone, being away from my boyfriend for a month and a half, and of course, being back to working all the time. I picked up a nannying job in my hometown for the time I will be there, and of course back to my favorite hostessing job at a local restaurant, a grand total of roughly 50 hours per week, give or take a few. The real world is finally starting to hit me. I have an apartment, complete with rent, utility bills, and all those fun things. I have a credit card, that I dread opening the statement each month. I have my car completely paid off (praise the Lord). I’m working my way to financial independence, how scary is that? This year, it was for the most part total independence, not having parents there to monitor me. However, I’m glad I could rise to the occasion. I have maintained my GPA and scholarship throughout the year, and am a student in the Darla Moore school of Business at USC. The classes have sure been a struggle, that goes without saying. So, if you’re going into college next year, or even the year after, or know someone who is, let them know that it is NOT THAT EASY. No matter what anyone says, I refuse to believe that high school prepares you for college. No way. Maybe certain teachers do (A huge thank you to Mr. Orszulak, Mrs. Orszulak, Mrs. Briggs-Lefferts, Mr. Rich, Mrs. Crowley, and of course Mrs. Grant for preparing me), given the courseload and what they expect from their students. High school is where the information you learn, for the most part, is spoon fed to you. You get the information on a silver platter and then are given a quiz or test on the same silver platter. I can honestly say that in high school, I can count the number of times I studied on my hands. I don’t mean flipped the pages around studied, I mean full out flash cards, total lockdown, study groups, after school tutoring, studied. Needless to say I knew how to study, but I never really had to, just because the classes were that simple. Coming into college, I knew it would be different, but I didn’t know by how much. The classes are so different – who would ever leach sentential logic in a high school?! Professors expect more (duh), and some are willing to help more than others (look at ratemyprofessor.com before you take a class). It’s a whole different world. Truthfully, I don’t know if anything will ever prepare you for the whirlwind that is freshman year. It’s a time of adjustment, and as corny as it sounds, new beginnings. You know change is coming, but you won’t know what it is until you get here. 

You WILL struggle this year. You WILL have to study more than you ever thought possible. You WILL pull all nighters before exams. You WILL start having date nights with the library. 

But….

You WILL have the most fun you’ve ever had in your life. You WILL meet so many new and amazing people. You WILL be rewarded for all your hard work (Hello, future employers!). You WILL become a part of something bigger than yourself. 

 

College is amazing. Remember this though; work hard, play hard.

ESPN College Gameday came to my school during football season, and I had a HUGE Calc exam the next Monday. Any sort of math has never been and probably will never be my thing, so I found myself studying that weekend. Until my dad texted me and asked if I was there. I said “No, I’m studying”. And it was then that my father, who undoubtedly wants me to succeed and do the best I can in everything, told me to stop studying, and go the Gameday. I knew i would be in deep trouble if I didn’t come close to acing this exam, but my dad was right. Sometimes, you just have to be where the fun is. I ended up going and having the time of my life, all night on the famous Horseshoe, chanting USC at all hours, Sandstorming like crazy, and just having a good time. I ended up getting a B on that exam too. So like I said, work hard, play hard.

It’s scary at first, but I promise you, take it day by day and you just might make it out alive.

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Trust

19 Apr

The title is the farthest thing from creative but I’m so mentally drained from this calc exam that I can’t even bother to come up with something remotely clever, so I apologize.

Lately, I’ve been learning that trust is everything. You have to trust those around you, those in your life, and most importantly, yourself. Given certain circumstances, that may or may not be an easy thing to do. The general population seems to care less about trust and more about immediate gratification. Sure, your friend told you a secret in confidence, and you could just not tell anyone, like she asked, or you could gossip to someone else, because you’ll look “cool” having this inside information. In the end, your friend will be pretty hurt, and the trust is gone. Weirdly enough, some people are okay with that. Why? Because they “won”. They “got ahead” for lack of a better phrase.

Once that trust is gone, it’s really hard to get back. Not just get back to where it was, but get it back period. I may be speaking for myself when I say this, but when someone betrays my trust, I hold onto that for a while. I become skeptical on all of their actions, over-analyze their words, and even do my share of facebook creeping. And that’s something I’ll admit to.

It really sucks, because no one ever wants to be betrayed by someone, especially someone they care about. It’s probably one of the worst feelings in the world, and it doesn’t just go away after a day or two. It sits with you, and eats at you, and sometimes it even has you thinking what YOU could have done wrong (even if clearly, you did nothing wrong). Situations like this make you want to blame someone, and often times, the person that gets betrayed, blames themself. Which is obviously completely unfair, but we still do it.

Of course I’m speaking from experience, I don’t come up with these deep thoughts because I get bored and have nothing better to do. Yes, this feeling is currently eating at me, and yes, it completely sucks. But, I’m getting over it. It’s hard, but I’m doing it. Not just for myself, and because I want to be happy, but also for the sake of relationships with others in my life. Holding a grudge forever isn’t fair, and it’s not healthy for either person involved. Forgiving too easily is also unfair, because no one experiences dealing with the problem. If you were just to walk away from all the troubles and people who screwed you over, sure they wouldn’t be in your life anymore, but would it solve anything? No. You’d still walk on through life, continuously getting screwed over. But one day, someone will lie to you or screw you over. It will kill you inside. And you will learn more from that than you ever thought possible. I promise you though, it will be worth it.

What you take out in the end is much more valuable than the initial anger and pain you could harbor endlessly.

Life goes on

16 Apr

First, and foremost, I would like to ask everyone to pray for the city of Boston, and all of those involved in the tragedy that took place this afternoon. Having parents in the city that day, I know I was a freaking nervous wreck until I heard from them. Bless all of those impacted, and I thank all of the EMT, fire, police, hospital employees, members of the national guard, and everyone else working towards safety in Boston right now.

In other news…

Ever feel like someone is plotting against you? Like they’re rooting for you…seemingly…but there’s little sublimial messages that make it seem like they’re just waiting for you to fail?  Not because they want to see you fail, but because you failing works in their favor.  So they can get ahead, acheive what they want, take what they want, ya know?  And of course, it’s not like you can confront them about it, because that would just be awkward, right? OF COURSE WHEN IS THE WORLD NOT DOING SOMETHING AWKWARD. Anyway, I’ve got that feeling.  And as much as it freaks me out, I just want to shake that person and say “STAHP” like Sammi from Jersey Shore.  For all I know, I could be completely reading into this too much (what else is new).  But something tells me I’m not.  We all know some bitter souls out there.  And with bitterness, comes fakeness.  And I do NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT tolerate fakeness.  I mean sure, I’ll let you get away with it for a minute on the surface, but I’m incredibly perceptive and catch on right away if I sense you’re acting fishy.

SO.

YOU. HATER. Or whatever I should call you.

Know this, life goes on. And it goes on pretty fast. If your life moved on from something a while ago, let it go. And let it go where it wants, rather than following it around like a lost puppy dog that hasn’t had water in weeks; sad and thirsty.  So cut it out. Please.  It is not a becoming quality, and I know.  If you don’t think I do, heres a little secret, I DO.  And I hate to come accross as harsh, but seriously.  I don’t want to hear about your past relationship.  And I don’t want to know if you still have a shred of hope he’ll come back.

If you’re bored I suggest you watch the NFL Bad Lip Reading on youtube.

My friends and I have been quoting it, daily, for about two weeks now.

Finger time.

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