Archive | February, 2013

A Little Bit of Nostalgia

26 Feb

Ever go back and look at baby pictures? See old trophies from Pee-Wee sports teams? Indulge in some juice-boxes at the grocery store? We all do it. I’m especially guilty of the last one because Hi-C juice boxes were on sale this week at Piggly Wiggly. 

As I sit here typing this blog post with juice-box in hand, I am reminded of how nice it is to be able to look back and enjoy some of these simple pleasures. When I go home, I skim through my mothers trove of photo albums, spanning from when I was a hideous, football headed baby, to moving me into my dorm. I can’t help but smile, because those were honestly some of the best times. I know everyone says “don’t look back on the past”, and I totally get that. I mean really, why waste time recollecting on the old boyfriend you had freshman year who cheated on you? Leave that in the past, please. But what harm is there in remembering your senior year of cheerleading? Or your first dance competition  Or all the crazy times you had with your best friends? Or hell, even when you used to run around the house, dancing,with your father when Arthur came on TV because the theme song got me that hype as a 3 year old. There is ZERO problem reminiscing on those things. They remind us of the good in life, when times were simpler, and smiles were endless and infinite. Now, dealing with the every day struggles of growing up, those reminders are needed. So yes, even a simple juice-box will bring me back to those days.

Recently, my friends and I were all smacked in the face with reality. A great friend of ours passed last week. Nobody saw it coming, and it shattered so many hearts. Part of life is losing people, yes that is true. However nobody deserves to be gone so young. We have to remember the good times that existed in the past in order to remember him. I’ll go back to that church in my hometown in the summer and remember those Christmas Pageants him and I would take part in. I’ll take a drive in the Quabbin and remember how it was his favorite place in the world. 

 

As long as you have tools to remember the best parts of your past, you have ability to move forward. 

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Long Drives

25 Feb

In high school, one of my favorite things to do was waste gasoline and go on long drives with no destination in mind. In college, I can no longer afford to do that, as my income is no longer disposable, and I have insane amounts of homework to do.  However, sometimes I have to take those long drives, like to see my boyfriend, or go home (if I ever decide to make the 16 hour trip alone).  This past weekend, I made the three hour trek to see the boyfriend (code name is Merp), and it was like pure nostalgia. I had my windows down, music blaring, and my mind thinking about nothing in particular.  Well, at least that was the case on the drive up.  

Something about goodbye’s kills me. I can’t say goodbye to my family, good friends, or Merp without tearing up. Yes, fabulous things called feelings sometimes get the best of me. Anyways, on the ride back to Columbia this afternoon, I was surrounded by a beautiful sky, fresh mountain air, and memories of a weekend spent with someone that I love. But for whatever reason, my mind couldn’t stop thinking about anything BUT those things. I found myself re-analyzing every choice I had ever made in my life, from small insignificant ones like what shoes I would bring home for winter break, to where I chose to go to college. My mind was absolutely restless, but I couldn’t tell you why those things were occupying my mind. I had a great weekend, winter break was long over, and I was finally growing content with USC. Somehow, I felt a rush of second guessing. I kept wondering “What if I left those shoes at school?” and “What if I went to a different school?”  It really freaked me out.  I’ve never had that much free time to just let my mind wander like that.  I didn’t think when I did get that free time that I would let my thoughts get the best of me. It’s like my mind was out of control and there is nothing I hate more than feeling like I’m not in control. Then of course one thought leads to another and before I knew it I was creating scenarios in my head that were not only highly unlikely, but were actually impossible.  And those scenarios stressed me out for the three hours they existed in my head. 

I’m now back in the comfort of my dorm where I have far too many responsibilities to indulge in those kind of outlandish thoughts.  Even though my mind got the best of me, I’m almost glad I had those thoughts. I’m far more grateful for all that I am blessed with right now, than I was when I woke up this morning. I’m incredibly happy, healthy, and have innumerable amounts of non tangible things to be thankful for. If the worst things that happen to me are simply things that my mind makes up for me when it has time to wander, I guess I’m not doing too bad.

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Who says you cant go home?

17 Feb

This past weekend, my family (mom, dad, sisters, grandparents) drove down from Massachusetts to come see me in Columbia. Boy did I miss them. It’s nice to be able to see them, laugh, enjoy dinners (gratis for me), and spend time together since I haven’t seen them since January 12th.  My boyfriend came down from Boone, NC as well, since they all just love each other so much. But being surrounded by the people who are most important to me from two different chapters of my life made me realize some things.

As much as I complained and ranted about how much I hated my home town all throughout high school, I think it’s nice to be able to go back if I want to and know that nothing will change.  Janine’s Frostee will still be open (during its open season at least), Cumbies will still be the place you can run into everyone and anyone, and the Quabbin will still be beautiful.  My family reminds me of that, whether they know it or not. My family, much like my surroundings while I was growing up, greatly contributed to who I am today.

Now that I have left home, and started a new chapter, I have had some of the most amazing experiences.  I’ve met so many phenomenal people and learned quite a few valuable life lessons in the few months I have been living in Columbia.  These experiences and people are only adding to who I am, and I could not be more thankful.

I feel like most people go through these kinds of situations in their life.  They get so hyped about leaving town and how much they cant wait to move and start over.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but my biggest mistake was rushing my way out of town.  I think it may be because “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, and now I have learned to love where I’m from.  And right now you may think you want to go and never look back, but you will want to go home.

And the best part is, is that even through all your complaining about where you’re from, it will still be there waiting for you whenever you decide to come back, with open arms, and a smile of familiarity.  And you will love every second of it.